Tari ...
Again, I am sorry for not updating my blog much lately; I have been going through a lot lately with my angel Tari in hospital, she was referred to the hospital earlier this month as she fell into a coma after attempting suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills and anti-depressants. Here's the full story...
Tari:
The 13th of September was the worst day ever this year, as the one who I love more than anyone else in this world was sent into hospital, after falling into a coma in affect of overdosing on sleeping pills & anti-depressants, she said that she could no cope with everything right now, with me, with work, with all the stuff that was clouding up her vision... And it's very easy to see why she wanted to overdose, because she wanted to be free from all the frustration and stress from it all... She is still in hospital right this very moment, still unable to speak or open her eyes, but her body patterns were said to be slowly getting back to how they should be. The doctors had said that the sleeping pills she overdosed on are still in affect and will take a while to wear off. But in the long-run she will be fine physically...
The day before Tari did an overdose she said she was thinking about something very long & hard on, but she wouldn't explain what she was thinking on to me or my sister Rosanne, but we can only guess that what happened on the 13th was a result of the day before...
Tari has never done anything such as this in her life, she's never thought about suicide, and I've never seen her depressed before, until earlier this year when things started to screw up...
She was feeling all sorts of emotions, as was I, as there were a lot of complications involving various things, that appeared to of revolved around me... Which kind of made me really upset and sad, because I want her to be happy, not upset or in-pain.
And this whole expierance of her being in hospital has changed me a lot, because I don't want to loose her, I've known her since I was born (as our parents were the best of friends in their childhood)...
I visit Tari in the hospital everyday for as long as I possibly can, and when I am there I keep saying things to her, things that I've always wanted to tell her but couldn't put them into words.
A large majority of people who know myself & Tari know how much I love her and that I want to never loose her, as she does for me ... But things have been getting in the way of the both of us, making it really hard for the two of us to get through things... It's a constant battle of emotions to live lately it seems, everything is just going over the top and unable to get through.
Just reccently the two oldest people in my family passed away (Great-Grandad Fred & Great-Grandad Dennis) and I'm not letting Tari be the next to go in such a short time... When I say this, and I speak the truth; I love Tari with all that I am, all my heart, all my soul, if she were ever to vanish from my life, I would not hesitate to pick up a knife and slit my throat and lay in a pile of blood, thinking to myself how much life meant to me when Tari was with me. -- I know it's a bit over the top & very emo of me, but that's how I feel, Tari means the whole meaning of existance to me, she's always been there, through all the hard times, through all the good times. I am not ready to loose her, infact, I'll NEVER be ready to loose her, because I want to live a happy life with her, as long as we're together I will be over the moon with joy.
After Tari is out of Hospital, I'm going to do something very special for her, I'm going to use all the money I've saved (even though very little) over the years and make her dreams of going to Paris & Japan come true -- She loves Paris & Japan, and says it would be a dream come true if she could visit those places... So I want to do that to show her that I'm willing to do anything to make her happy, and that I don't want to see her in these conditions... I love her so damn much that it kills me to see her like this... And now I know how she feels when I'm in these kind of states, and I am going to change that by getting help and getting my body fixed and put back into working order how it should be... Because the neither of us are ready to split apart, we've lived through hell together, and now we want to live through heaven together, and enjoy all that life has to offer...
I Love Tari so damn much!! -- I hope that she will get better soon.. I love her, and want to make her see how much I love her.
Thanks for Reading... I'm sorry if it was too much, it's just what I wanted to get out of my system...
xx Jamie~
Tari:
The 13th of September was the worst day ever this year, as the one who I love more than anyone else in this world was sent into hospital, after falling into a coma in affect of overdosing on sleeping pills & anti-depressants, she said that she could no cope with everything right now, with me, with work, with all the stuff that was clouding up her vision... And it's very easy to see why she wanted to overdose, because she wanted to be free from all the frustration and stress from it all... She is still in hospital right this very moment, still unable to speak or open her eyes, but her body patterns were said to be slowly getting back to how they should be. The doctors had said that the sleeping pills she overdosed on are still in affect and will take a while to wear off. But in the long-run she will be fine physically...
The day before Tari did an overdose she said she was thinking about something very long & hard on, but she wouldn't explain what she was thinking on to me or my sister Rosanne, but we can only guess that what happened on the 13th was a result of the day before...
Tari has never done anything such as this in her life, she's never thought about suicide, and I've never seen her depressed before, until earlier this year when things started to screw up...
She was feeling all sorts of emotions, as was I, as there were a lot of complications involving various things, that appeared to of revolved around me... Which kind of made me really upset and sad, because I want her to be happy, not upset or in-pain.
And this whole expierance of her being in hospital has changed me a lot, because I don't want to loose her, I've known her since I was born (as our parents were the best of friends in their childhood)...
I visit Tari in the hospital everyday for as long as I possibly can, and when I am there I keep saying things to her, things that I've always wanted to tell her but couldn't put them into words.
A large majority of people who know myself & Tari know how much I love her and that I want to never loose her, as she does for me ... But things have been getting in the way of the both of us, making it really hard for the two of us to get through things... It's a constant battle of emotions to live lately it seems, everything is just going over the top and unable to get through.
Just reccently the two oldest people in my family passed away (Great-Grandad Fred & Great-Grandad Dennis) and I'm not letting Tari be the next to go in such a short time... When I say this, and I speak the truth; I love Tari with all that I am, all my heart, all my soul, if she were ever to vanish from my life, I would not hesitate to pick up a knife and slit my throat and lay in a pile of blood, thinking to myself how much life meant to me when Tari was with me. -- I know it's a bit over the top & very emo of me, but that's how I feel, Tari means the whole meaning of existance to me, she's always been there, through all the hard times, through all the good times. I am not ready to loose her, infact, I'll NEVER be ready to loose her, because I want to live a happy life with her, as long as we're together I will be over the moon with joy.
After Tari is out of Hospital, I'm going to do something very special for her, I'm going to use all the money I've saved (even though very little) over the years and make her dreams of going to Paris & Japan come true -- She loves Paris & Japan, and says it would be a dream come true if she could visit those places... So I want to do that to show her that I'm willing to do anything to make her happy, and that I don't want to see her in these conditions... I love her so damn much that it kills me to see her like this... And now I know how she feels when I'm in these kind of states, and I am going to change that by getting help and getting my body fixed and put back into working order how it should be... Because the neither of us are ready to split apart, we've lived through hell together, and now we want to live through heaven together, and enjoy all that life has to offer...
I Love Tari so damn much!! -- I hope that she will get better soon.. I love her, and want to make her see how much I love her.
Thanks for Reading... I'm sorry if it was too much, it's just what I wanted to get out of my system...
xx Jamie~
